Thoughts on Leaving

Our vacation feels like forever ago but here are some thoughts on the matter...  

So how many of you were like, "I could never leave my kid for 10 days!!!" after hearing that Matt and I were going on our vacation?

Honestly, I said it to myself like a thousand times before I left. And then I left, and I was gone and she was without her mama.

Keeping in mind that she was in the best possible hands besides my own (Nonna and Nana). I want my girl to trust them with her life. I want to provide opportunities for them to care for her and provide for her. One of my goals as a parent is to make sure Hazel trusts her family just as she trusts us.

Nevertheless, leaving was one of the more difficult things I have ever had to do.

"ONE OF"

I say this because, remember when, I had to hand my 28 hour old babe to nurses and doctors that I had never met before and trust that they were capable and well educated enough to fix my girl. Never met them and had to surrender my most prized possession, whom I had just barely got my own hands on, to strangers. I had no control, it was not on my terms and it was what was best for my baby. THAT...was the second hardest thing we've ever done.

The reason I say second is because we were so overwhelmed with the process of having a new baby and all the emotions that go along with it that we didn't have time to internalize what was actually happening. Also, we literally have THEE worlds most supportive family there is. When Hazel was brought down for her surgery we had an entire waiting room full of family - FULL! They had food, coffee and some of the most thoughtful gifts we could have received. They were there, fully present, with tears and hugs and laughter and distraction and LOVE. So much love my eyes fill with tears as I type these words. We are blessed. Without them I don't know what would have become of us that day, or any day after.

We are blessed.

Hands down the most difficult thing we had to do was hand our 5 and a half month old daughter, who we had come to know, learn from and love more than life itself, to another stranger to have her little tiny heart exposed and repaired by other strangers. Seriously, I think they literally had to pry her out of my arms. I had no strength. I could barely put one foot in front of the other. Matt and I both just hovered in a place in time that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.  Again, there was a room FULL of family and friends that all took time out of their days with their kids to come, sit, wait and support.

We are blessed.

So back to the original question. Can you imagine leaving your baby for 10 days to go on a vacation?

I can...that was easier than all the other challenges we have been faced with so far. Was it difficult? Of course. Did I cry at night when my girl was so far away? Sometimes. Was I worried about her well being and health? Not for one second. This time I knew the people I was entrusting my daughters life with. I have seen them interact with Hazel. I have watched them love her and her love them right back. I have seen them make good decisions based on Hazel's needs. I trust them and they were not strangers.

So, yeah, it was tough to walk away, relinquish control, be miles and miles from a piece of your soul. But, it was a nice break from, cooking, cleaning, preparing, OT, PT, and the million other things that we call reality.

We are blessed to have been given the opportunity.

Back at the home front, not too much has changed. Hazel has been enjoying her nesting cups immensely ever since she figured out that they all fit together nicely.

I thought I would throw this one in just to prove that kids with Down Syndrome are NOT always happy...

Since we have been home we have been enjoying the weather outside and taking advantage of all opportunities to blow bubbles and water play (2 activities that sister can't get enough of). I can not explain how happy I am to just sit outside and watch Hazel explore. I am so excited for her to grow and learn.

I can hardly wait to enjoy the rest of the summer watching her grow and providing new experiences for her. It's the little things, I guess.

The game: I say "splash" and she throws the balls in the water. Then she makes a face and waits for the water to splash her.

Peace & Love