Hazel's Heart Day

It's been 3 years since this little lover has has her heart exposed on an operating table, laying in a doctors hands. It's been 3 years since feeding her was such difficult work, even harder for her to gain any weight. It's been 3 years since we have had to watch her struggle for energy to eat or play.

The entire day almost passed us by actually, but a sweet friend reminded me just in the nick of time. It's kinda funny how these thing work out. Matt and I had been reflecting a lot over the weekend about how much Hazel has changed recently. It's like she's maturing and growing. The way she is in certain situations is so different than she was 6 months ago - 2 months ago even. We have been talking about how lucky we are that she is happy and healthy. We had a heart apt with the cardiologist where the report was raving and her heart is perfect.

Even though I did't realize at the time that her heart day was approaching, I feel like I did on some level. For some reason I couldn't bare to be away from her for too long (that's not the norm I assure you), but this last weekend - it was. I wanted to hug her, kiss her, play with her, hold her hand, sit with her. I couldn't motivate myself to do anything that wasn't with the girls. I enjoyed them - plain and simple - I was present. Something that really isn't always easy when you have a million things on your mind and a trillion chores to get done.

And with absolutely ZERO forethought of this day approaching, I happened to get this beautiful photo of me and my girl that so accurately portrays the event, the sentiment and strength I get from her. You can see her scar, and her growth. But this time I am holding her heart, because now it's mine and I'm not letting anyone else have it.

Thank you sweet Hazel for being the rock that you are. Your determination is admirable. I will never know another human who I respect more - EVER. You teach me to love better every single day. You carry me. 

Happy Souls, Healthy Hearts

We just had a visit with Hazel's cardiologist and the verdict was better than we could have ever expected. 

Her heart is perfect!!!!

Before her heart surgery it was a mess, and after it was slowly healing. She always had a few areas that the doc was watching to make sure no problems were developing. Nothing major, just keeping an eye on it (AND that's why I LOVE our cardiologist!) When we went in last week, he reported to us that those small issues had resolved themselves and that her heart was functioning all in the "NORMAL" range. Precisely where I want the numbers in reference to my baby's heart to be - NORMAL!!!!

No going back for 2 years and I'm pretty sure he just wants to keep seeing her because he loves her. AND I CAN TELL!!! He adores her. I adore him. I love the way he looks at Hazel first as a child, he looks at her as a whole. All 34lbs and 101cm of her (when your baby was once in failure to thrive you never tire of seeing her weight and height increase with every doctors visit. Oh Yes - of course we had to weigh Nola too - 27.9lbs and 88cms). He looks at her face and her smile, her tempermant and he can tell she's doing great. He asks questions like, "is she happy? What do you guys think, you know her best, any concerns?" We were blessed to have this man looking out for our girl. 

And after was play time at the park with our warrior friends from the NICU (and a couple extras). The one great thing that came from the LOOOOOOONG stay in the NICU was these families. So fun to watch them all play and carry on in the park together. And by "play together" I mean all the kids running in ALL directions at ALL times ALL day. Except for when my kids napped, which was amazing. Mommy and daddy got to have coffee and visit. 

Love these kiddos so VERY much!!!! xo

Have a great day!!

Oh...Nothin'...just some dreams coming true

Back in the NICU days, where we met some wonderful friends, we used to dream of a time that we could bring our kids to the park or for a picnic together. Some days we would sit and dream about what it would be like to have our little babes out in the open air, beyond the walls of the hospital. We wanted to make it happen last year but with Hazel's heart surgery, summer came and went. Picnics and days at the park were few and far between, if any at all. Well - it finally happened. A picnic and a whole afternoon spent at the park with our friends from the NICU. And we even got to see the nurses who played such a HUGE role in helping us all get on our feet!!!

I was in my glory the afternoon relishing in the moment. One of our dreams came true right before my very eyes. The kids all ate lunch together on blankets, chased after bubbles, got super messy faces, drank out of anyone's sippy cups but their own and splashed around in the water.

Adventures in the splash pad. We laughed, they cried (and by "they" I mean Hazel), we hugged, it was all good.

Here is how Hazel spent the entire ride home...

One of my all time favourite days, with some of my favourite families!

Half Way There - WOOT!!!

I am not one to post a lot about my pregnancy, but since I just crossed over the half way point I thought I would check in. I guess having been through fertility issues, it's still a sensitive topic to write about for me. I have been posting some pics on IG, just to keep it real. I have been feeling great these last few weeks. Not a great deal of morning sickness (anymore - I was pretty sick for the first 16 weeks). My energy has returned and I once again feel ready to face the world (and by "world" I mean Hazel). It's definitely not the same the second time around.

I have been feeling the baby move around and kick a lot. Just gently reminding me that there is in fact a baby in there. Matt got to feel for the first time this week. I feel so much more comfortable this time around.

I think I'm not showing as quickly either, but it's so hard to say.

Hazel at 20 weeks

Baby #2 at 20 weeks

Oh...and...also....we decided to find out this time.

WE KNOW!!!

...and we will share just as soon as we tell the family. I will do a full reveal post soon.

Hazel says - "shhhhhhh, it's a secret for now"

Gratitude & Health

Update from London & Happy Friday!!!

We had a visit to the cardiologist and pediatrician this week. It's been a busy one. 15 months already!!!  

The cardiologist in London is extremely happy with Hazel. He is always very excited to see how big she is getting, how much she's changed and just how healthy and happy she looks. Hazel weights 23.5 lbs and is 31 inches long. She is getting so big!!! She spent the visit smiling, waving and blowing kisses to the whole staff, so I'm pretty sure by their laughter and smiles they were quite smitten as well.

We have been blessed with the doctors that Hazel has advocating and watching over her. Our cardiologist (and the staff) genuinely cares for Hazel and we can tell by the way he looks at her. That really is all a parent can ask for. The doctor to CARE about their child. It seems as though he treats her like she's his own, it's like he's protective over her. LOVE!!!

The last thing he said to us was that seeing Hazel made his day. Until next time...

Gratitude & Love